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Real Conversations

"Work-Life Unbalance"- And My Quest To Get It Right.

I would like to have a talk with the person who coined the phrase "work-life balance". This is a conversation that needs to be had, in-person, with no distractions as I pick apart all the holes in this theory of modern-day Utopia. Whoever you are, Mr, -I-Am-Selling-You-Guaranteed-Disappointment, this theory of Work-Life balanced needs to be banished from our conversations and firmly re-categorized as an urban legend.

Here are the facts:

  • 66% of full-time employees in America do not have a work-life balance.

  • 60% of employees blame their bosses for work-life imbalance.

  • An astonishing 84% of freelancers are happy with their lifestyle.

  • Spending more than 55 hours a week at work increases the risk of anxiety and depression.

  • 40% of employees use their devices for work outside business hours.

  • Salaried employees do 26% of the work outside working hours.

  • Mobile technology enables flexible working for 52.59% of employees.

  • 35.5% of knowledge workers check their emails every 3 minutes.

  • A total of 40.1% of the workday is spent multitasking.

  • A whopping 69% of employees want flexible work schedules.

66% of full-time employees in America do not have a work-life balance.

Just like Shakira's hips, numbers don't lie. This number is exasperated by the intensity of remote working and the inability to delineate office hours from home hours. To add insult to injury working parents are thrust into the arena of carving out space to be ad hoc educators. This is a suffocating experience for the best of us parents. And I would be remiss if I did not mention the mounting strangleholds that keep us in a frenzy of inbalance. A listless economy, isolation, political misinformation, job loss, and a decrease in socialization balance are elusive for the strongest of us.

For me, it has become an exercise in emotional agility to get through my days. I once prided myself on my strength to prioritize and organize. With tactical precision, I would map out a week's activities on a whiteboard and would use it as a reminder of the checks I needed to cross off my to-do list. Upon completion of these prioritized tasks, I would allow myself time for self-care, socialization, and sleep.

In my current state, I am lucky to smoosh into my schedule the luxury of reading a book or magazine. I feel like I have won the lottery if I am able to manage 7 hours of uninterrupted sleep. This need for creating a work-life utopia has resulted in more google searches, hours behind the computer, and more confusion. This endless quest searching for work-life balance has led me on a path of more inblanace. Ironic huh?

What can you do to create an equilibrium in your life?

The key to understanding "balance" in your life is to perfect equilibrium. What is Equilibrium? Equilibrium suggests the maintenance of balance. In other words, don't let the highs get too high, and don't let the lows get too low. Your ability to bounce back, using emotional agility will bring a sense of calm to your life.

What is emotional agility?

Emotional agility is one’s ability to face their thoughts, emotions, and events in a manner that doesn’t steer them in negative ways, but instead inspires them to show the best of themselves. This is important because if we take the time to recognize our feelings before reacting to them, we’re able to do so in a way that matches up with our values, and in a way that reflects our best, most authentic selves.

I stand firmly on the belief that a work-life balance is fed to us by corporate America on their marketing mission to make us feel bad about our lives. If we feel bad about our lives, we will buy their products. These products are cast into clutter-filled, chaotic environments as a band-aid to make us feel better for a fleeting moment. The true bandaid to heal our angst-filled days is to use emotional agility when tossed piles of unexpected work on our laps. The ability to confront the negatives thrown in our way with clarity gives us the power of perspective to not let our lows get too low.


  1. Take it slow. Give yourself breathing room to collect your thoughts. Give yourself grace-it is ok not to be perfect.

  2. Understand your priorities and write them down. Make sure you are touching each priority daily. For example, self-care, read a chapter of a book, finish a work-project, pay bills, plant a garden, dinner with a partner (the list goes on and on).

  3. Understand your values. Are your daily actions in alignment with your values? If you value family time but are only able to squeeze in 20 minutes a day with your child, your actions are not in alignment with your values.

  4. Get a reality check. When you are uber-focused on your shortcomings, take time to break away and see how others are dealing with the pressures of creating a work-life balance. Join a group of like-minded people that share this experience. Chances are you are doing pretty good.

  5. Talk to someone outside of your immediate sphere of influence. When you speak to an unbiased observer-their clarity can be the wake-up call you are craving.

Here is a random sampling from clients on how they deal with chaos:

You Got This--

Coach Jules

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