The 5 Reasons You Need The Power Of A Community

You are not an island.

This past year and a half have been a reminder to me that I need people. Not just any "people" but people who hold steadfast to the same values as I. In fact, in the early days of the pandemic, my yearning for a community was so powerful that I started one of my own. I cheekily named it the "Squad" and for a year and a half, every Wednesday we met engaged in profound conversations that gave me the comradery that I craved. Every week for 75 weeks, I sat perched in front of my computer and led empowering and educational conversations on topics from the enneagram to racial healing (and everything in between).

Through this act of communion, 25 human beings that never would have connected in the "outside" world became the best of friends. And what's more, 2 weeks ago, I packed up my car and headed to the upper region of Wisconsin. Nestled in the thicket of ancient elms, I prepared to meet my community in person.

I hosted a 3-day retreat for these strangers (yet dearest friends) in the hopes of continuing our colorful conversations in the flesh.

"PEOPLE WHO NEED PEOPLE, ARE THE LUCKIEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD"-Barbra Streisand

When the first car arrived, my stomach was riddled with knots. Will this online community I created translate seamlessly into the "real world"? Three familiar faces sauntered out of the car. They were a bit disheveled and disoriented from a day of travel. As our eyes met, something powerful happened-there was no distinction between time and space. My dearest friends were here-and the reunion was life-changing.

WHY IS A COMMUNITY IMPORTANT?

Here are my top reasons for not doing this thing called life alone-

1. Collective Wisdom- There is collective wisdom in surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals. This does not mean a homogeneous community of same-minded thinkers. It simply means that the group has a similar set of core values as you do.

2. Pushing Our Limits- A powerful community pushes us to think differently and do more. A genuine group of authentic humans gently nudge us to reframe ideas that we have long held.

3. Support And Belief- The side-effect of participating in the empowering space of a community is that you create a tribe that understands your story. When your path gets rocky you have cheerleaders reminding you of your strength.

4. Borrowed Motivation- Quite often, I came to our weekly meetings depleted and well, lacking the energy I needed to focus. The energy that poured out during each session provided me with an electrifying feeling that motivated me to do better each day.

5. New Ideas- Isolation, especially during the pandemic, often leads to a narrow way of thinking. The exchange of ideas allows for a fresh perspective that elevates our thoughts and actions.

Doing life alone deprives you of the rich tapestry of stories fellow humans have to offer. Doing life alone keeps you stuck in the monologue of your current situation. The power of having the strength of your community behind you allows you the access to believe bigger and do better. After all, isn't life better together?

Listen To My Podcast Episode About My Squad

You Got This-Jules

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Check Out My Latest Community.

Dr. Sherrie Campbell and I are hosting a weekend of transformation. We are joining forces with men and women from around the globe to understand the power of disconnecting with toxic people and toxic situations. We will teach the tools to reclaim your life and start living the life you were meant to live.

Learn more about the life-changing summit.

Letting Go Of Toxic People

19 signs of a toxic relationship.

If you think therapy is for the birds-you don't know Dr. Sherrie Campbell.

Dr. Sherrie Campbell drops truth bombs daily. She is the leading expert on how to cut ties with toxic people. Dr. Sherrie knows what she is talking about. This self-proclaimed "Chrissy from Three's Company doppelganger" may disarm you at first, with her perfectly coiffed hair and piercing blue eyes. The truth is, Dr. Sherrie is an intellect, who empowers her clients and readers with the tools to break free from relationships that are like poison to your soul.

Dr. Sherrie is an author, nationally recognized thought leader, and a regularly featured expert in TV and radio. Her accolades include her tenure as a blogger for the Huffington Post, weekly contributor for Entrepreneur, and Licensed Psychologist with over two decades of clinical training and experience. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology in 2003, where and specializes in psychotherapy with adults and teenagers. If that is not enough, she prides herself on being a connected mother to her teenage daughter. What is more powerful, is that Dr. Sherrie brings to the table a personal account of how she was subject to years of manipulative abuse.

Dr. Sherrie inspired me. Well let's be honest, Dr. Sherrie mesmerized me with her personal story of living with a narcissistic family member. Dr. Sherrie's vulnerable account illustrated her struggle to sever ties, even though she wears the title of leading expert on the subject matter.

Quite simply, Dr. Sherrie was the target of systematic familial bullying. Dr. Sherrie paints a raw portrait of how cutting ties with this "home devil" was a dance she engaged in for years. Her heart-wrenching illustration displays how difficult it is to walk away from a person who has undiluted pleasure in making you feel worthless.

What does a toxic relationship look like?

• Lying

• Blaming

• Criticizing

• Manipulating

• Overreacting

• Invalidating or ignoring your feelings

• Undermining your relationship with your spouse, kids, or other relatives

• Creating drama or crises

• Passive-aggressive behavior (such as the silent treatment, deliberate procrastination, or criticism disguised as a compliment)

• Gaslighting (a powerful form of manipulation that makes you doubt your perception of what’s going on)

• Refusing to compromise

• Yelling, cursing, or calling your names

• Belittling your values, beliefs, choices

• Gossiping or speaking ill of you behind your back

• Making unreasonable demands

• Expecting you to help them, but they aren’t available to help you

• Threatening suicide or self-harm in order to get their way

• Ruining holidays and special occasions

• Playing the victim

• Not taking responsibility for their own behavior

In Dr. Sherrie's book, But It's Your Family she explains that healing comes with accepting that there are some relationships that are so poisonous that they destroy one’s ability to be healthy and live a full life. This best-selling book spells out clearly what it means to cut ties with toxic family abuse. She teaches you not to just survive but to thrive in the aftermath.

The Answer

Dr. Sherrie espouses the power of silence. When we are in an unhealthy relationship disengagement is key. Disengagement and silence are our superpowers. A toxic person delights in heightened responses. Toxic people adore tears and anxiety. When we disengage and remain silent to their manipulations, there is no ammunition for more hate-filled attacks.

Dr. Sherrie currently has a client waiting list in her private practice and is not taking on new clients. However, lucky for us she is active and present in her Facebook Group of almost 130,000. She cares so deeply about her community, she personally interacts daily on Facebook.

(No team for this superstar).

SHERAPY= Sherrie + Therapy

Check out her Facebook group and get to know this amazing human, who I call a friend. Every Thursday she delivers a Facebook Live to her followers called "SHERAPY".

Her adoration for her community is evident.

Check Out Sherapy on Facebook:

--> Dr. Sherrie Campbell, PhD

Everyone needs a little Sherapy in their life.

You got this--Jules

And Listen To Dr. Sherrie

On Our Podcast, Obsessed With Humans On The Verge Of Change.

You, Will, Become Obsessed With Her Like We Are!

OBSESSED PODCAST

Learn More About The Sherapy Summit Here!

Strong As A Mother

A lesson on the tragedy and triumph of motherhood.

And how to Lean Into Love

Dr. Laura Berman, author, tv host, and mom.

This week I learned that love transcends space and time. I realized that the power of love withstands the tyranny of death. And I absorbed into my DNA the right-in-front-of-me-fact that when everything around you goes dark, it is imperative to lean into love.

My schooling was directly sourced from an expert in love, Dr. Laura Berman. Dr. Laura, who happens to be a researcher, scientist, tv host, Oprah's wing woman, New York Times Best Selling Author, and mother of three boys, allowed me to access her wisdom as she shared a collection of raw experiences.

Dr. Laura, recently penned the book, Quantum Love. From its coveted spot on my nightstand, I can easily reference lessons on how to harness unique energies to create the most powerful experiences in love. Within its pages, she explains that our lives are always in a state of contraction and expansion. When we feel disconnected from our bodies or our loved ones, we have the power to correct that energy. The idea that we have the ability to shift our energy, and in turn change our reality, leaves me gobsmacked. As we navigate dark moments in our lives, we can reposition ourselves to let slivers of light filter through the broken pieces.

“What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle.”-Rumi

Dr. Laura is living proof that in moments of deep pain it is possible to experience flickers of joy. Her testimony and her years of research were met with a collision of unimaginable darkness that defies this world's natural order of existence. On February 7th, Dr. Laura walked into her sixteen-year-old son's bedroom to have a chat with him and found him lying on the floor aspirating. Despite a valiant effort from medical responders, he remained listless and unresponsive. That moment was the demarcation of a new way of existing. On that heartbreaking day, Dr. Laura began a life that was void of the earthly connection to the child who infused laughter and joy into her life.

Dr. Laura immediately accessed her default mode. By nature, she is a helper, and through her blinding pain, she knew she had to reach out to help others. She understood that her celebrity status could help spare other mothers the pain of losing a child. Within hours, she had shared her story on social media.

INSTAGRAM POST:

"My beautiful boy is gone. 16 years old. Sheltering at home. A drug dealer connected with him on Snapchat and gave him fentanyl-laced Xanax or Percocet (toxicology will tell) and he overdosed in his room. They do this because it hooks people even more and is good for business but It causes overdose and the kids don’t know what they are taking. My heart is completely shattered and I am not sure how to keep breathing. I post this now only so that not one more kid dies. We watched him so closely. Straight A student. Getting ready for college. Experimentation gone bad. He got the drugs delivered to the house. Please watch your kids and WATCH SNAPCHAT especially. That’s how they get them."- Dr, Laura

When I initially reached out to Dr. Laura, I didn't expect the busy mega-star to respond. I projected my insecurities by thinking that she should be in the fetal position, crippled by grief, and would have no interest in a conversation with me--a devout, but unknown superfan. However, her response was swift. Her words aligned with my mission of empowerment. And she cheerfully responded that she was happy to have a conversation with me. At this moment, I knew I was in the presence of a woman who was larger than life.

In the first few moments of our conversation, she radiated warmth and gritty strength. With familiar ease, she turned to a framed picture propped on a bookcase behind her and adjusted it so that I could see her son Sammy's, cheeky grin. Her comforting narrative had a slightly intellectual spin on the topic of grief. She explained that grief is different for everyone, and she is cognizant that for some in her family, her son's picture can be a trigger. So, although the picture comforts her, it may project someone else deep into the bowels of grief. Understanding that everyone's responses and triggers are different, is one of the things that drew me to Dr. Laura's perspective.

WITHOUT DARKNESS THERE IS NO LIGHT

-Dr. Laura Berman

"The journey of grief is not linear" she explained. "Emotions bubble to the surface at different points of a day and can be overwhelming." Dr. Laura emphasized that bottling up emotions leads to illness, so they must be felt and released. Moving your body through the emotions helps to release them in a healthy way.

Dr. Laura walks the walk and practices what she preaches. I witnessed this first hand as I interviewed her. It is also evident when scrolling through her social media. She boldly shares her painful journey on all social media outlets in hopes to create change. With a regular cadence, she presses record on her phone, allows us intimate access into her journey through grief, then presses Post. She moves her body through the pain, sharing her tears, and communing with her support system. The power of her love for Sammy's lives on and transcends boundaries in this amazingly strong mother.

The Chapman / Berman Family Celebrating Love

As I apply these teachings to my own life, I am choosing to embrace the messy. I am choosing to feel my emotions and not bottle them up. I am choosing to use my energy for good. And I chose to honor Dr. Laura's son, Sammy Chapman, and live life with enthusiasm and curiosity.

Every day is precious, so lean into love.

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Join:

Dr. Laura on her crusade to make social media a safer space for kids. Please follow and support

Organization for Social Media Safety | Making Social Media Safe for All (ofsms.org)

Read:

Dr. Laura's Book On Quantum Love

Quantum Love is the best possible experience of love, and it’s available to absolutely everyone, whether you’re seeking a mate, in a relationship that’s struggling, or just finding that love has turned lackluster through the stresses of life.

Listen: To Dr. Laura on our latest podcast episode